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Pig Scientists Start Artificially Inseminating Humans to Try and Improve Them

News from the Natural World: Pig scientists have started artificially inseminating humans to try and improve them.

News from the Natural World: Pig scientists have started artificially inseminating humans to try alter their natural state.

The leading scientists from the Suidae community have begun a controversial new medical project. The Suidae are the greatest of all the scientists in the animal kingdom. The Suidae family are more commonly known as Pigs and include domestic pigs, wild boar, the babirusa, pygmy hogs and also warthogs. Their intelligence is no match for even the great masterminds of the Owl and Dolphin scientific community. But even amongst the Suidae, there are one species that stands head and snouts above the rest. That species is the “Babe” or more popularly known as the domesticated pig. But these Pig scientists have launched a rather contentious new project.

Pig scientists
Pig scientists accused of playing God

The Pig scientists have started to artificially inseminate humans. They begun the experiments in Berlin, Germany and have been keeping humans in vast scientific facilities. The humans were captured and then transported to these cold, metallic factories to suffer a fate worse than death. The Pigs would separate the humans into different groups to try and selectively breed specific traits. In addition they would kill any humans who displayed above average intelligence or who were disabled or lame. Furthermore they began pumping them full of hormones and chemicals and even artificially inseminating them. But why were the Pig scientists doing this to humans?

Pig Scientists start playing god

Pig scientists wanted to improve the human race. They were fed up of this destructive ape running amok all over the planet and causing havoc for the rest of the species on the earth. Also, they said that they got the idea of improving humans from the humans themselves. Because human skin is so similar to pig skin they are perfect for preclinical studies. In addition to providing use in biomedical research, drug testing, genetic advances in Pig healthcare and even provide organ transplants for injured Pigs. On top of all that the Pig scientists thought that they could genetically engineer and erase some of the humans most destructive and greedy genes.

The animal kingdom is fully on board with the experiments but the human race is not so happy. Many humans are protesting against Pig scientists. But the leader of the Pigs, Albert EinSchwein had this to say when asked how could they do this to humans….

“How can we do this to humans!?? Look at what you did with Cows, Pigs, Chickens, Dogs, Horses and pretty much every single bloody animal you could get your opposable thumbs on! Have all you humans forgotten about Foie Gras, Chlorine Washed Chicken and factories where animals never ever seen sunlight!?”

Strong words from eminent Pig scientist Albert EinSchwein.

TAKE ACTION – NOW

Pig scientists
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