Agony Earth

Mother Earth Will Give Dinosaurs Another Turn after Giving up on Humans

News from the Natural World: Mother Earth will give Dinosaurs another roll of the dice after giving up on the human race.

News from the Natural World: Mother Earth will give Dinosaurs another roll of the dice after giving up on the human race.

The Allmother, Freya, Mudder Errrrt, Big Momma and all-round celestial deity, Mother Earth has shocked the animal kingdom with a new announcement. All animal life on earth had gathered together after she declared that she had a huge message for everyone. She assembled every single species of animal on the planet together except for humans. The meeting took place in the one location that humans would never go… heaven. Mother Earth said there was no room for humans at the gathering. In addition to being rude, arrogant and destructive she had just had enough of them all trying to barge their way into the Pearly Gates. Mother Earth turned to the animals and spoke.

Mother Earth
Mother Earth keen to give another species a try

She told the gathered animals that her planet was suffering under a colossal assault. Not only was biodiversity on earth under threat but over 1 million animals out of 8 million were threatened with extinction. Furthermore, she had given the humans plenty of chances to change their course of action. She’d left them tons of clues and even sent a group of angels to save them. The humans referred to these angels as ‘Conservationists’ and had largely ignored them in the mass media. Many humans even chose to outright attack these angelic bringers of fact. She had tried everything and the humans wouldn’t learn. It was time for Mother Earth to intervene, she was going to wipe out the human race.

Mother Earth to give Dinosaurs another go

But she would do it fairly this time, things had got out of hand last time. The last time she intervened was to stop the dinosaurs taking over and eating everything. Whilst she admitted that lobbing an asteroid at the planet might have been a bit of an overreaction, she stood by her method of species eradication. Except for this time, she would do things a bit differently. She was going to give the Dinosaurs another turn. Maybe they weren’t so bad after all she thought. But they’d need something to give them the upper hand against the humans. She knew what would do the trick, something the humans thought they possessed but in truth had none of it.

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