News from the Natural World: The Naked Mole Rats have decided on a controversial piece of legal action against none other than Sir David Attenborough.
After decades of simmering with anger in their burrows, the naked mole rats of East Africa are suing the famous naturalist for defamation. They object to being labelled as “a bizarre rodent” and having “sausage-shaped bodies with grey wrinkled skin and grotesque incisors teeth” in ‘Life on Earth.’ They cannot believe that ugly, aggressive, hyperactive, disease-ridden humans, who need to wear clothes, can utter such insults!
Neither moles nor rats, these small burrowing rodents (13cms long, 35gms in weight) spend their whole lives in elaborate tunnel systems beneath the savannas, eating roots, bulbs and tubers. Their unique physiology means they can survive without oxygen for 18mins, are cancer-resistant and possess a very slow metabolism and high tolerance to pain and temperature variation. According to their size, they should live for 6yrs but many continue into their 30s! Scientists interested in prolonging human life expectancy are studying mole rats.
Naked Mole Rats to Sue David Attenborough
At an exclusive interview with the BBC in Nairobi, the spokeswoman for the Kenyan families, Molly Mole Rat, declared, “Humans have always body-shamed us. They are so shallow. Look beneath our skin. We construct sophisticated underground homes with separate larders, dormitories, nurseries and lavatories and live in happy, ordered colonies. We excavate in teams, digging faster than a dog. You are so feeble, building huge hospitals for your sick and mass-producing pills for your many ailments. You seek our secrets!”
As Molly finally returned to her tunnels, she fired a parting shot. “At least we live underground, away from your polluted, corrupted surface!” Hang on……..
TAKE ACTION – NOW
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