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Circus Tiger Wins Legal Right to Eat its Human Ringmaster

News from the Natural World: A circus Tiger has won a protracted legal battle to earn the right to eat its human ringmaster.
News from the Natural World: A circus Tiger has won a protracted legal battle to earn the right to eat its human ringmaster. Zena the Tigeress was born and raised in a circus. She was a captive of a Russian travelling group in the city of Magnitogorsk in the country’s Chelyabinsk Oblast. She was forced to live in tiny, cramped cages and carted from town to town, in addition she was unable to exercise, roam, and play. Furthermore she was forced to eat, drink, sleep, defecate, and urinate in the same place. The only escape for her were terrifying and traumatic performances in front of roaring crowds. As a result of this abuse Zena had begun to pace back and forth and even mutilate herself.
Circus Tiger
Circus Tiger forced to perform for humans
On top of that Zena was deeply troubled because she had been separated from her mother at birth. This caused her great emotional distress. Her trainers would drag her around with heavy chains and hit her with sticks. But there was one thing Zena was even more terrified of than everything else, fire. Yet at the end of each performance, she was forced to jump through a huge burning hoop. In order to ‘teach’ her to leap through the fire, her human trainer had to punish her relentlessly. Zena would only perform once the pain and fear of punishment had surpassed her instinctual fear of fire.

Circus Tiger to eat human ringmaster

Zena was truly fed up and exhausted with all this horrible treatment. She just couldn’t understand why the humans would enjoy watching tortured animals being abused. Were they so stupid and ignorant that they thought she was doing it for fun?? She was Tiger for f**ks sake! She wanted to roam hundreds of miles of pristine forest and hunt deer. Not jump through flaming hoops for some psychopathic human for the entertainment of morons. Zena just couldn’t understand why humans were more interested in a circus Tiger rather than a real wild one. But Zena had underestimated the power of human advertising.

Ringmaster for breakfast

The traveling human circuses used billboards, commercials, and other promotions to advertise a good time for the whole human family. These adverts and promotion lied about the facts. They blatantly ignored the fact that the Tigers were subjected to beatings, isolation, and neglect. Zena knew she had to play the humans at their own game and do what the humans did best, she would also just blatantly lie. She found herself the top animal lawyer, Johnnie Cockerell, who came up with a perfect case. Zena would counter sue to earn the right to eat her human ringmaster. They argued that the human trainer would enjoy being eaten, it was all a bit of fun and no one would get hurt. Most importantly a crowd could watch and cheer. Most of all it would be entertaining! The human judge was in fact the first person to buy a ticket to the live eating of the human trainer. The judge knew that this was one show they couldn’t miss. Johnnie Cockerell further demonstrated that as a result of keeping big cats in captivity, 126 captive cats and 23 humans had died in the last 25 years. So what would one more human trainer matter? Especially if it was really really entertaining.

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