News from the Natural World: The Cow Jones is at an All-Time High as Animal Stock Exchange Soars Due to Pandemic.
The latest news of a resurgence in the COVID-19 Pandemic has caused stock exchanges all over the planet to crash. The fall has been so dramatic that it has been renamed the “Coronavirus Crash”. The Coronavirus Crash followed a decade of economic prosperity and sustained global growth after recovery from the GFC began in 2009. Global unemployment was at its lowest in history, whilst the quality of life was generally improving across the human world. But then someone ate some Bat soup and turned the world upside down. Global economic shutdowns occurred due to the pandemic, panic buying and supply disruptions exacerbated the market, and mass hysteria ensued. However the same couldn’t be said for the animal kingdom.
YAKDAQ on the Rise
The animal kingdoms financial markets have been soaring in juxtaposition to their human counterparts. The Cow Jones, New Stork Stock Exchange, London Croc Exchange and FTSE have all seen huge increases during the pandemic. Even the Yaks, the animal kingdoms weakest economists watched on as the NAS-YAK soared dramatically. During 2020, the International Animal Fund reported that the animal economy was going through a ‘synchronized upturn’. ‘Increases’ were showing in the Pet Trade as global markets began to rise through a ‘sharp uptick’ of human online purchasing activity. This growth is in stark contrast to the years leading up to 2020. Global growth in the animal kingdom crashed beyond repair in 2017. The IAF blamed ‘heightened destruction of the natural world and loss of biodiversity’ as the main reason for the slowdown, citing Donald Trump as the primary reason for the sustained collapse.