News from the Natural World: Human Vegans have started harassing animals for eating other animals.
Strange and disturbing reports have been circulating in the Crabloids, the animal version of the human tabloids. The reports tell of a group of humans insulting, harassing and in some cases attacking animals. In one incident in Canada a pod of Orca was going about their daily hunt and homed in on an unsuspecting Seal. Out of nowhere a group of humans started hurling abuse at them and threw rocks. In England a Fox was out hunting some Voles when a mob of humans started shouting and charging at the Fox. Lions were chased away from fresh Wildebeest kills, Komodo Dragons were abused after killing a Deer and one Mink with bloodlust was chastised for slaughtering a coop of Chickens. The animals were so confused, who was this group of humans harassing them for eating other animals? The answer, they were human Vegans.
The human Vegans said that animals had no right to eat other animals. It wasn’t normal and was morally wrong. But the animals said that all animals ate other animals. It was one of the fundamental laws of nature. In addition it was part of the so called “Circle of Life”. The animals argued that humans are just another mammal. As much as the humans like to pretend that they are not an animal they are just in fact a more intelligent Great Ape. They share over 98% of their DNA with their closest relatives the Chimpanzees and Bonobo’s. But the human Vegans continued harassing them, saying that killing an animal was morally wrong. The animals knew this was nonsense, either the human Vegans had to say that humans aren’t mammals or they had to say that it was morally wrong for mammals to eat other mammals.
Human Vegans oppose animal on animal violence
The animals were furious. They knew that it wasn’t morally wrong for an animal to eat another animal. They knew that the real problem was factory farming and the over industrialisation of the meat and fishing industries. Rather than waging a self righteous war based on flimsy morality and dewy eyed humans romanticising nature. They should focus their effort on convincing the middle ground to reduce their meat intake. The morality aspect just put other humans off. If you’ve ever seen a pride of Lions eat a Zebra alive you know that nature is tooth and claw. The animals tried to remind the human Vegans that many humans did in fact both hunt meat and depend upon it for survival.