Agony Earth

This is Your Mother Earth, and YOU’RE ALL Grounded!

News from the Natural World: This is Your Mother Earth, and YOU’RE ALL Grounded!

News from the Natural World: This is your Mother Earth, and YOU’RE ALL grounded – a message from your ruler.

I have had it up to hear with you, Human P. Kind! You’re about to get sent to your time-out corner… Florida.

I think I made myself pretty clear on more than one occasion that you are grounded. I have made wildfires, earthquakes, tornados, thousands of dead fish wash up on shore, unbearable heat, COVID-19, Murder Hornets, and other cataclysmic signs making it too scary to go outside. And did you listen to me? No, because you only think of yourself.

This is Your Mother Earth
This is Your Mother Earth! Look at the state of me.

Remember what happened last time when you didn’t listen to me about the west African black rhinoceros? That’s right. Now they are all gone. This is your final warning. You better listen when I speak to you, young mankind.

I honestly thought COVID-19 would be the unmistakable message to hit home. But despite the mandatory quarantine, you’re all still sneaking out and partying at the beach, littering and polluting, as if nothing is wrong. And, you’re holding gender reveal parties that set off fireworks in the house. Just wait until your father gets home. When he gets through with you, you’ll be begging for another plague!

This is Your Mother Earth, and YOU’RE ALL Grounded!

I work hard all year to keep you alive, and you can’t even clean up after yourselves! Did you really think I wouldn’t notice a garbage island in the middle of my beautiful ocean? Oh, and I’ve seen you’ve broken my O-zone, again. Did you throw a party while I was away, rotating around the sun?

Then you have the nerve to exploit me for your financial gain. I’m not made out of crude oil, you know. Gold nuggets don’t grow on trees. And don’t even get me started on fracking and oil spills. If you poison your water and choke on it, you only have yourself to blame!

You don’t know how easy you have it. You’re the top of the food chain. ACT LIKE IT! You have no natural predators, and that still isn’t good enough for you.

There was a time when humans didn’t even have fire, electricity, or even indoor plumbing! Back in my day, living creatures had to survive the ice age and dinosaurs. Sometimes, I swear, I wish another asteroid would come and give me a rest.

Do you have to always fight with your brothers and sisters? You have to be kidding me with all of that genocide and racism. YOU’RE ALL MY CHILDREN, AND I DON’T PLAY FAVORITES! If you can’t play nicely and share the Earth, then no one gets to have it.

Don’t tell me you’ve done your science homework. I know you haven’t, or you would know global warming is real. You march into your room and don’t come out until you figure out a way to refreeze the polar ice caps. It’s your mess. You clean it up!

Try me again, one more time, and see what happens. I will take away your oxygen. Don’t think I won’t do it. I sustain your life, and I can take it away!


This is Your Mother Earth
This is Your Mother Earth!

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