Politics

The Capitol Hill Riots – The Pigeons Share Their Expertise on Public Protests

News from the Natural World: The Capital Hill riots - the Pigeons share their expertise on public protests.

News from the Natural World: The Capitol Hill riots – the Pigeons share their expertise on public protests.

The last year has seen ever greater public protests in the human world, most recently the riotous storming of the US Capitol building. Elsewhere farmers in India are still trying to stop the erosion of their rights, people across America and beyond were outraged at the continued unlawful killing of black people, and behind all that there were still children refusing schooling to draw attention to the climate crisis. To get a deeper understanding of what these protests mean and how they work, the wolf interviewed an expert on holding public protests in human cities, Paul the Pigeon. Here’s what Paul had to say on the following topics:

The Capitol Hill Riots
Paul the Pigeon shares his opinion on the Capitol Hill Riots

Racism“Feral pigeons come in all sorts of shades of grey, brown, black and white, with iridescent purples and greens as well. And we all get along regardless. It doesn’t matter what colour your feathers are. It only matters that you’re not a falcon. We’re the same species, differentiating because of colour is ridiculous. Humans do understand that you’re all members of just one species too, right? Technically even the language you use is wrong, you can’t be racist because you’re all the same race.”

The Capitol Hill Riots – The Pigeons Share Their Expertise

Statues – “Toppling statues that some people associate with ideas they disagree with seems to have become very popular in the human world. Once again, pigeons were well ahead of the curve. We’ve literally been shitting on every memorial (and everything else) you’ve erected for thousands of years. Why? Because all of them are deeply offensive to us! Some buildings do make convenient perches, but they’re nothing compared to the rocks and plants that could be there, and their very existence celebrates humanity, a species that uses us for food, sport and war. Take down some statues if it really bothers that many of you, but we all know humanity’s issues run much deeper. I’d be focusing on making meaningful changes if I was the dominant species on the planet. Just saying.”

Non-violent Protest“This one is a classic. Occupying a public space to cause disruption to the existing order and to draw attention to your cause is an absolute must. To be honest, I can’t remember if your ancestors copied this off us or if we copied it from you, but it works. From the Roman forum onwards, we have been there quietly resisting humanity’s encroachment into the countryside, massed spokespeople for the rest of bird kind. You’ve not paid any notice yet, but we’re still hopeful.”

Pigeons Share Their Expertise on Public Protests

Hunger Strikes“Not really our bag. I respect the dedication it takes, and good luck to you, but speaking as a bird who will literally grab the chips that you drop in a dirty puddle, I can’t speak with any expertise on that.”

Direct Action“Tricky this. Tends to lose you a lot of goodwill amongst the wider community, and you’ve got to know what you’re doing and be equipped for it, which the vast majority aren’t. Being a pigeon, it’s hard to do anything non-violent, and that’s probably a good thing. I’ve seen nesting crows divebomb runners and cyclists and it’s scary, they’ve got the claws and beaks to really mess up your eyes. But does it lead to lasting change? You might manage to protect the small area you’re active in, but if you start to become a real problem for the authorities they just turn up and bulldoze your tree. Or shoot you.”

TAKE ACTION – NOW

The Capitol Hill Riots
The Capitol Hill Riots embarrass Pigeons

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