News from the Natural World: An angry Vegan from Surrey has been telling an Inuit to stop hunting Seals and buy avocados instead.
Charles Frinkley-Bottom from Surrey is a modern human. He’s Vegan and also proud of it. On his crusade, he has been trying to convert the world around him to his way of life. Everywhere he sees a human consuming an animal product he attacks them and shouts at them really loudly. But it isn’t in the real world where he is most vitriolic, it is in the online world where he saves his sharpest barbs. Recently he got into an angry Twitter spat with an Inuit from the Arctic regions of North America. The Inuit are a group of culturally similar indigenous peoples inhabiting the Arctic regions of Greenland, Canada and Alaska. In addition, these Indigenous peoples rely on animals for their survival and Charles was absolutely furious.
The image that really set Charles off was a photo of a seal hunt. He decided to take the Inuit to task! So finally, he launched a vicious attack and told the Inuit that he had to go Vegan and that his way of life was unethical and cruel! But the Inuit was no shrinking violet and responded;
Angry Vegan From Surrey Tells Inuit To Stop Hunting
“There is no supermarket near me? How am I supposed to buy this Vegan Cheese, Vegetarian Sausages and Soy Milk? Are you supposing that we build a supermarket here on the ice flow? Or should we just get our Avocados flown in from Peru? We’d need to put a massive landing strip next to that supermarket then? And where am I going to buy my Vegan clothes from? I mean I made this Parka from the lining of a seal gut and sowed it together using the teeth and sinews as thread. This way of life connects me to my ancestors, we have lived off the land in this way for centuries. We worship the animals and know that we rely on them for our survival. Every single scrap of every single animal I’ve killed has been used for clothing, hunting or housing. Are you saying we now need to stop what we’re doing and build an ethical fashion store on the icecap?”
Charles hadn’t thought about this. He thought that his simple answer was the solution to all the problems facing the natural world. But the Inuit was indignant and carried on “Is not your Veganism another misguided western hegemony designed to destroy our lives without ever actually pertaining to solve the very problem you claim to want to solve? Your militant vitriol reminds me of the religious crusaders who tried to convince me that the animalistic gods of my forefathers weren’t real and that I should follow their Christian God. Why is it more ethical for me to import an Avocado all the way from Peru rather than catching the fish outside my Igloo?”
Buy Avocados Instead
Charles Frinkley-Bottom from Surrey was even more confused. He was always right about everything. He knew he had morality on his side because he got lots of likes on social media. His side always shouted the loudest. In addition, he knew that insanely complex problems based on centuries of multi-faceted truly global human evolution could be solved with one simple premise. By going Vegan. But this Inuit sure had some sound arguments. He wondered how many Inuits existed? In fact how many indigenous people were there in total? He was shocked by what Google said. There were approximately 476 million Indigenous Peoples worldwide, in over 90 countries.
In a best-case scenario, Charles realised his Vegan message wasn’t even remotely valid to at least 476 million humans. Uh oh, he thought. His argument was being dismantled by this pesky Inuit. Charles realised there was nothing for it, he did the only thing he could do when losing an argument. He blocked the Inuit on Twitter.
TAKE ACTION – NOW
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