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Animals Blocked by Instagram After Flooding App with Gory Pictures of their Lunch

News from the Natural World: Animals all over the world has had their accounts suspended by the popular social vanity platform Instagram.

News from the Natural World: Animals all over the world has had their accounts suspended by the popular social vanity platform Instagram.

Everyone’s favorite site for grotesque self-promotion, Instagram, has taken a drastic and shocking decision. Instagram is an American photo and video sharing app owned by Facebook. As of July 2020,  the most followed person is footballer Cristiano Ronaldo, with over 233 million followers. As of January 14, 2019, the most-liked photo on Instagram is picture of an egg. The picture currently has over 54 million likes. Instagram became the 4th most downloaded mobile app of the 2010s. But Instagram truly went global and viral as a platform for humans to share pictures of their lunch. Fashionable coffees, avocado smash, sourdough bread and colourful granola. You name it, the humans shared it. Truly their was nothing more valuable than showing other humans what you had had for lunch.

Animals
Show everyone what you’ve had for lunch NOW!!!

The animal kingdom had not failed to notice the rise of Instagram. They watched from the shadows as over 1 billion humans downloaded the app. Day after day, more and more humans shared images of their lunches. The animals wanted in. They wanted to be part of this pointless vanity charade. So the animals set about acquiring mobile phones and all downloaded Instagram. Lions, Tigers, Grizzly Bears, Great White Sharks, and even Snow Leopards all set up their Instagram accounts. They were so excited and immediately started sharing photos of what they were having for lunch. But there was one big problem.

Animals blacklisted by Instagram

Instagram started blocking their accounts. It started deleting their posts and suspending their profiles. The animals were so confused, all they were doing was uploading an image of their lunch. They were using all the right hashtags as well. One Lion uploaded an image of half eaten mutilated baboon… BLOCKED. In addition a Tiger posted a shot of a Deers mangled intestines and blood soaked hide…. BLOCKED. Finally a Great White Shark uploaded an image of decapitated Sea Otter…. BLOCKED. The animals were livid, why was Instagram blocking their photos! They were just uploading photos of their lunch like everyone else.

Instagram said that the animal’s images weren’t “quite the right type of content” for their site. If only they could try some generic granola or basic b*tch avocado, that was more their type of “thing”. So the animals have had their accounts suspended by Instagram for sharing images of their lunches.

TAKE ACTION – NOW

Animals
That that type of lunch you bloody animals!

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Find out who the Platypus is – here

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