News from the Natural World: Red squirrels massively in favour of reintroducing predators to England.
Plucky, nimble, adorable Red Squirrels have voiced their support for the reintroduction of more predators to England’s northern landscapes.
“Do it! Do it now!” enthused Kielder based squirrel Bobby. “Get ‘em back in ‘ere. It’d be great. We’ll have a right old time. Pine martens, eagles, lynx, the works. Come on!” Bobby was twitching his tail throughout his appearance on the branch of a fir. He insisted that the movement was an indication of excitement and not anxiety.
“Look at Scandinavia, look at continental Europe, they’ve still got the whole team and its great! More progress please, less of your London bureaucracy.” In less skittish moments Bobby elucidated on the fact that he, and most other red squirrels, were genuinely in favour of the presence of more creatures that might prey on them.
Red Squirrels Massively in Favour of Reintroducing Predators
“Have you seen us move, man? We’re fast, we’re agile, we’re absolute dancers, we can dodge about and look out for ourselves where predators are concerned. But we can’t outrun the pox, or do much about starvation. I’ll take talons and teeth any day of the week against a slow death. But there’s precious few goshawks about nowadays, buzzards are perfectly happy to scavenge and owls don’t do very well if you’re tucked up well in a nice drey for the night.
“Stoats are a bit more of a menace but that’s about it for genuine excitement. Get the pine martens in, that’s a proper challenge, and it’ll make the greys think twice about trying to push in up here. We need this to happen now mind you, none of this ‘wait-and-see’ letting the martens work their own way in from Scotland and Wales. Get some captured or bred sharpish, and drop ‘em off by the reservoir! I’d rather have a couple of good chases a day against a marten than have to pop back up a tree every single time some prat with a dog walks by. Take your pooch to a park and let ‘em bother the greys.”