Entertainment

Dubai Dolphins Flown in from Solomon Islands Demand to Fly First Class

News from the Natural World: Dubai Dolphins flown in from the Solomon Islands demand to fly in first class.

News from the Natural World: Dubai Dolphins flown in from the Solomon Islands demand to fly in first class.

For many years Dolphins have been captured from the Solomon Islands and flown to aquariums in Dubai. In 2007 alone, 28 Dolphins were sent to the Atlantis Palm Dubai. Dubai offers the perfect destination for people who give absolutely zero sh*ts about nature or anything vaguely natural. Ski slopes in the desert, Whale Sharks in aquariums and artificial everything. You name it, it’s fake or stolen from somewhere else. Dubai has offered the perfect destination for Dolphin smugglers. Not only do the buyers have deep pockets full of oil the consumers who they rely on to spend on their aquatic attractions are of a particularly vacuous disposition.

Dubai Dolphins
Dubai Dolphins tortured for human entertainment

But the Dolphins shipments have always been shrouded in secrecy. One human spokesperson
insisted that, “We cannot disclose information about where we acquire our dolphins or details of the transport at this time as a matter of security.” The going price for a live Dolphin is reportedly about $30,000 per dolphin. But another human said he “would not reveal the identity of the importer or the price paid.”

The Dolphin trade was further mired in controversy after the outcry over a consignment of 28 bottlenose dolphins sent to an aquatic park in Mexico. At least nine died. In the case of the Dubai Dolphins, one day before travel the carcasses of three bottlenose dolphins including a calf were found dumped near the exporters’ holding pen. Fast forward to 2021 and the Gulf States and Chinese Aquariums are offering a fresh level of hell for Dolphins. But we heard a rumour that the Dolphins were getting together to make some demands and challenge the vile trade.

Dubai Dolphins Flown in from Solomon Islands

The Dolphins decided to launch a press conference and nominated their leader to speak out. General Click had this to say;

“We Dolphins have had enough of being transported from country to country. We’re tired of being packaged into crates and hauled onto planes. The tanks are claustrophobic, loud and terrifying. It’s awful. We demand change, we demand an answer to our suffering. We demand to fly First Class!”

General Click was really hitting his stride now;

“First Class is the least you shitbags could do. I mean even RyanAir and EasyJet give you more room than those bloody tanks you chuck us in. We’re just absolutely fed up with it. Oh and one other thing. Where do you humans think all this shit comes from? Dolphins in Dubai, Polar Bears in Singapore, Kangaroos in Brooklyn. Where do you think these animals came from? Are you so bored of your feeble existence that you need to see an animal being tortured and kept captive for your entertainment? The least you could do is give us a decent meal and some movies. We demand it once and for all, we demand to fly First Class!”

But the Dolphins were to be disappointed. They asked a human from the airline whether they could indeed fly First Class. The human said that theoretically, they could but that they didn’t have points. Once they racked up a few more miles, they’d be eligible for an upgrade…

TAKE ACTION – NOW

Dubai Dolphins
Dubai Dolphins preferred type of plane

Read more articles like this – here

Find out who the Platypus is – here

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