*Note from the editor – If I’m being completely honest we very nearly didn’t write an article about this. It is almost beyond satire. A genuine ‘Polar Bear Hotel’. Not even on our best day, our finest satirical hour, could we have come up with something that so perfectly encaptures humanities sheer ignorance of the natural world. But alas it is real. There is a genuine Polar Bear Hotel. Oh well, here we go…
News from the Natural World: Polar Bear Hotel in China gets 2-star from Guest Expecting More Action.
China has opened the worlds first and worst ever animal exhibit. The attraction, part of the Harbin Polarland theme park in the Chinese province of Heilongjiang, offers a 24/7 view of the polar bears and has 21 guest rooms that look out over the bears’ indoor enclosure. The hotel opened on March 12 and was reportedly fully booked through its trial period. Photos and videos shared on Twitter by Chinese state media show the polar bears in the indoor enclosures, which feature artificial ice and small water pools. However, the first few guests were not very pleased and one disgruntled viewer left a less than favourable review on Trip Advisor.
Harbin Polarland Hits the Headlines
2-Star Trip Advisor Review
“Don’t get me wrong, it was a bloody big bear and it ticked all the boxes but it would have been nice to see some more natural behaviour. Maybe some hunting, a bit of fighting or mating perhaps. Did no one think of chucking in a seal to liven things up a bit? That would have made it much more interesting. I mean the kids watched it for a few minutes but they lost interest. Come on, you’re trying to compete with an i-Pad. A lazy Polar Bear that just sleeps all day isn’t going to cut the mustard. It didn’t even wave or anything. I expected much more from the Polar Bear. It just looked miserable, it had no work ethic and really didn’t do much to entertain guests. We really tried though, the harder we banged on the glass the more it just looked miserable. Rubbish, not worth your money at all.”
Polar Bear Hotel Disappoints First Guests
This wasn’t the only 2-star review and it prompted a wave of criticism. Other humans felt that “The Polar Bear didn’t even bother to wave back” whilst another mentioned, “That it looked a bit arsey when they’d used their flash 211 times to take selfies.” Overall the humans were very disappointed with the Polar Bears lack of work ethic and poor attitude to customer service. The Harbin Polarland has insisted that the Polar Bear will be getting additional on-demand training to upskill it. They have also disciplined it and recommended a training course for it to take on customer-centric service.