News from the Natural World: Dogs demand 3 day weekend for overworked human slaves.
Breaking news – “Overworked humans are finally given an extra day off at the weekend”. For this latest update, we head over to our resident canine journalists and animal investigator Anthony Umoh aka The Dog. The Dog had this to say;
“Well, we aren’t surprised by this latest news as taking care of a dog is a lot of work. They clean up when we decide to poop or piss in the living room, they take us to the park and they also have to deal with all our drama. What are their rewards you may ask, well it’s obvious they get to see us run after a ball and give it back to them.”
The Dog was really hitting his stride now “However, humans are getting tired of the workload. Some are demanding an extra day off at the weekend. This gives the humans a chance to sit on their couch, watch some football and spend their weekend getting drunk and regretting their general life decisions. This is why dogs have given humans one more day to carry one doing those things. The extra weekend is there so during the weekday they are fully recharged and are ready to deal with some of the most annoying things that dogs do on a daily basis.”
Dogs Demand 3 Day Weekend
“We have noticed that dogs have been disappointed with the lack of effort shown by humans. Humans have a responsibility to look after us. Anything less isn’t good enough and there needs to be real change. It would be nice if humans would talk to us like the intellectuals that we are instead of treating us like babies. Running after tennis balls and giving us treats are only going to please us for so long. If humans don’t perform to the required level then there will be consequences, this is a threat by the way.”