News from the Natural World: Humans are banned from celebrating “International Earth Day”.
The UN Global Council of Species voted 8.7 million to 1 in favour of a blanket ban on homo sapiens taking part in the campaign. The vote has without a doubt shocked the human race. Every single species on the planet was in unanimous agreement. Not even one single species dissented from the vote.
International Earth Day is celebrated around the world. The event is held on April 22 to demonstrate support for environmental protection. It was first celebrated in 1970 and now includes events coordinated globally by the Earth Day Network. Over 193 countries celebrated the day last year as well. In fact, since 1970 all 8.7 million species on the planet have gotten involved. This is a result of the current 6th Extinction that the earth is facing.
Humans banned from celebrating International Earth Day
However this year things have been a bit different. Delegates from the big cat families initially brought forward the motion to ban humans. But since then the campaign picked up a momentum of its own. The movement outlined 5 reasons for banning the human race;
- The current 6th Extinction facing all life on Earth
- The hole in the ozone layer
- Climate Change and the melting of the icecaps
- The Industrial Revolution
- The Dodo (you s**tbergs!)
Due to these 5 points it would no longer be morally right for humans to take part in International Earth Day. No other species had done more to destroy the earth and all other species on the planet and it was blatant self righteous hypocrisy for that species to celebrate International Earth Day. The Amur Leopard who started the movement said;
“Humans celebrating International Earth Day is like smelling your own farts.”
After the crushing vote yesterday humans have been banned from taking part all over the world. If any human is seen celebrating the day then they will immediately be shat on by the nearest pigeon.
TAKE ACTION – here
Read more stories like this – here
Find out who the Platypus is – here