News from the Natural World: Why Would Only One Mammal Possess Intelligence and Complex Emotions?
The Mammalian Kingdom was shocked to discover that humanity thought that there were only one species of mammal on earth that possessed intelligence and complex emotions. In typical human fashion, they placed themselves solely at the centre of everything. They used to believe that the world quite literally revolved around them. They even killed other humans for saying that they and their earth wasn’t the centre of the solar system. Over the years this self-centred arrogance has grown and grown, festering like some kind of vanity induced tumour. It has reached such suffocating heights that humans now deny any animals the rights afforded to themselves. Each time they define intelligence they completely disregard all viewpoints other than their own. Not to mind the fact that they also constantly change the goalposts.
First, it was tool use that set humans apart. Humans said that it was the use of tools that showed how intelligent mankind was. That no other animals possessed this ability. But then the humans started discovering Chimpanzees that used a leaf to fish for Termites. In addition, they found an Octopus that used shells and stones as tank-like armour. Furthermore, they saw Fish using rocks as rudimentary tools to crush molluscs. In fact, they discovered tool use was abundant in many species.
Why Would Only One Mammal Possess Intelligence and Complex Emotions?
So again they changed tact. This time they said it wasn’t tool use but rather a speech that defined human intelligence. It was the human language that allowed the growth of culture and learning that allowed humans to conquer the globe. It was speech that set humans apart. But humans saying that animals couldn’t speak was a bit like a French person meeting a Nigerian person and saying they couldn’t speak because they didn’t understand their language. Animals can speak, they just can’t speak human. In whales alone, humans have discovered not only speech and song but also distinct regional dialects. So it seems that speech is not a singularly human attribute. The human’s arrogance knew no bounds.
Take Fido the Dog for examples, he had this to say “Look if it was us Dogs measuring whether an animal was intelligent or possessed complex emotions we would definite it rather differently to humans. First, we’d look at their smellovision. It is our nose that enables us to see the world in 4D visuals of smell. That would be our benchmark for intelligence. How does a human nose stack up against a dogs nose? Pretty damn poorly. On that barometer, we would have to define humans as unintelligent.”
Why is sending a human to the moon anymore impressive than a Blue Whale using only its mind to navigate from Pole to Pole across the Pacific Ocean?
Fido was really getting into the swing of things now “If we were to measure whether an animal has complex emotions we would look at the ability to control them and manage them. Us dogs are pack animals and we pride ourselves on our ability to control our emotions to benefit the pack and ourselves. You humans might think that we are constantly happy to see you and always wagging our tails but really that is a complicated dance of balanced emotions to best suit our survival chances and manipulate the human’s volatile emotional framework. We Dogs are experts at this emotional manipulation of humans and therefore could be said to be in control of our emotions.”
“The same can’t be said of humans. Just one look at Donald Trumps Twitter, the history of warfare in the 20th Century and any panel debate on Loose Women will show you that humans have absolutely no control over their emotions.”
“And don’t even get me started on the intelligence of humans. Have you heard of Nuclear War, the collapse of biodiversity and the destruction of the natural world? If humans are so intelligent why do they seem to only possess the capacity for mindless destruction? Oh sure the Sistene Chapel is rather nice isn’t it but how does it stack up against the sight of Napalm melting a small Vietnamese child face and skeletal structure? Sure, sure the Great Wall of China isn’t a bad bit of engineering but how does it compare to the smell of 100,000 innocent Japanese civilians who were vapourised by an atomic bomb in Hiroshima? The list of human atrocities outweighs the list of intelligence by a long way.”
So the animals were forced to admit that humans couldn’t be said to possess intelligence or complex emotions.
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