Hall of Shame

What Happened to the Quagga? Animal Hall of Shame

Enter the Animal Hall of Shame: What happened to the Quagga? Enter the Animal Hall of Shame.

Enter the Animal Hall of Shame: What happened to the Quagga? Enter the Animal Hall of Shame.

Here at the Platypus we honour the traditions and beliefs of the animal kingdom. Namely that all animal life should be free from the threat of extinction. Extinction is the one, true greatest evil of all. There is no greater evil (except maybe Cats). So here, in the Animal Hall of Shame, we honour those animals whose lives have been snuffed out by the Homo Sh*tpiens. So without further ado, what happened to the Quagga?

What happened to the Quagga?
What happened to the Quagga?

What was a Quagga?

The Quagga was a subspecies of plains zebra. It lived in large herds that roamed across South Africa. Its head, neck, and upper parts of the body were a reddish-brown colour. In addition, it was marked with irregularly banded dark brown stripes. These were much stronger on the head and neck and gradually became fainter until lost behind the shoulder. Furthermore, it was defined by a broad dark median dorsal stripe. The undersurface of the body, the legs, and the tail was nearly white, without stripes. Finally, the crest was high, surmounted by a standing mane and banded brown and white.

What Happened to the Quagga?

What did the Quagga eat?

Contrary to popular belief the Quagga did not eat Quavers. Quagga actually were grazers rather than browsers. This means that they fed on grasses, rather than eating leaves, shrubs, and fruits as browsers do. Their feeding behaviour was likely quite similar to Zebras.

What happened to the Quagga?

Quaggas were hunted to extinction in the late 1800s. They were blasted off the face of planet earth never to return again. What evolution had managed to achieve in hundreds of thousands of years was wiped out in the blink of an eye.

Why did the Quagga go extinct?

They were another victim of the Anthropocene. Large scale hunting in South Africa in the 1800s exterminated many animals, not just the Quagga. But the Quagga were especially valuable for their meat and hides, and people wanted to preserve the vegetation Quaggas fed on for domesticated livestock. In addition, few people realized that the Quagga was a different animal compared to other Zebras and therefore needed protection. The last wild Quagga was probably killed in the 1870s, and the last captive Quagga died in an Amsterdam Zoo on August 12, 1883.

Animal Hall of Shame

Did humans kill all the Quagga?

Yes, Quaggas went extinct because humanity hadn’t been able to collectively detach its subconscious from its primordial roots. As humans evolved they failed to leave behind the greed and desire for death that so helped their rise to become chief bastard of the animal kingdom. This meant that for hundreds of years humans spent a huge amount of energy attempting to exterminate all living creatures so they could have a slightly nicer living room.

What killed the Quagga?

The last known surviving quagga died in the London Zoo in 1872. This Quagga was killed by humans incessant desire to dominate nature, lock things in cages and sell crap that people don’t need in gift shops. The rest of the Quagga was also killed by the same factors.

Is the Quagga still alive?

Reinhold Rau, a taxidermist in South Africa, conceived the Quagga Project in the 1980s. Crippled by human guilt he speculated that selective breeding of modern-day zebras could re-establish the quagga. Whilst many have argued this is the genetic metaphorical equivalent of spilling your Tipp-Ex, the project aims to have 500 quagga-like zebras by 2020 and establish three free-ranging populations of at least 100 animals each.

So there you have it, what happened to the Quagga? Humans happened to Quagga.

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What happened to the Quagga?
What happened to the Quagga? Humans couldn’t tell the difference between it and a Zebra

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