Climate Scientist Admits its ‘Quite Difficult’ Getting 7.6 Billion People to Change

News from the Natural World: Climate scientist admits that the task ahead is rather a challenging one.

News from the Natural World: Climate scientist admits that the task ahead is rather a challenging one.

A leading human climate scientist has made a frank admission that has sent shockwaves through the human world. Humans have been forced to confront the collapse of biodiversity and the destruction of the natural world. In doing so they have fallen into two camps. In one camp are a group of humans who say that the problem is incredibly easy to solve. All humans have to do is replace their plastic toothbrush with a wooden one. Or, alternatively, they could just wear a little bracelet made from recycled ocean waste. Their name is the Eco-Consumer-Hipsterists. They are a deadly plague and their overly simplistic solutions to the crisis always seem to end in hawking some product on humans. Their solution is also really simple, we can shop our way to sustainability.

Climate Scientist Admits
Climate Scientist Admits quite a few challenges ahead

The Sand-Covered-Heads is the name of the other group. They say that humans are so intelligent that they will clever their way out of the crisis. They argue that human ingenuity is so profound that only humans have the capacity to resolve the horror confronting all life on earth. In addition, the problems are exaggerated. All those Vaquitas, Oryx, Kakapo’s and Thylacines are just making it up. Their numbers aren’t that low, it isn’t that bad, honestly, there is loads of oil left.

Climate Scientist Admits its ‘Quite Difficult’ ushering in change

However, a climate scientist by the name of Keith recently revealed that unfortunately neither camp was actually correct. Keith said that actually the Eco-Consumer-Hipsterists were wrong. Convincing westerners to buy LESS things was really one of the crucial points. Furthermore, the Sand-Covered-Heads were wide of the mark. The facts were irrefutable and anyone, all ethical or moral arguments aside, it’s just bad business to continue to invest in industries where the commodity is finite when their are infinite alternatives available. Keith admitted that really, it was quite difficult getting 7.6 Billion humans to change at once. How had Keith arrived at this conclusion?

1 comment

  1. Four groups:
    It’s not a problem, don’t worry.
    It is a problem. but easy to solve, don’t worry.
    It is a problem, and is hard to solve, but scientific method and technology can solve it, don’t worry.
    It is a problem but it can’t be solved no matter what we do, it won’t help so don’t worry.

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