News from the Natural World: Cowspiracy 2 is set to contain a grisly and terrifying twist that has left the animal kingdom reeling.
Cowspiracy was a shocking, yet humorous, journey of an aspiring human environmentalist. In the Netflix hit the human naively seeks to find the real solution to the most pressing environmental issues and true path to sustainability. You guessed it, the solution, making a hard-hitting documentary. That will really save the planet. Hang on? Surely mildly interested humans streaming programs in HD is one of many drivers of climate change (how do you think they keep all those servers cool). Anyway, I digress, really trying to see this from a humans point of view. Ok, so Cowspiracy totally changed the world and making a documentary is definitely groundbreaking. In fact, it was so groundbreaking that Netflix has greenlit a sequel so shocking the animal kingdom is reeling.
Colin the Cow to Star
Netflix wanted to turn the tables and has decided to cast Colin the Cow in the main role. The premise is simple, Cowspiracy 2 will feature Colin the Cow eating human burgers for 30 days straight. Now I know all you animals reading this will have dropped your breakfast but stay with me. All animals know that human meat is horrific. Their flesh is tainted by the poisonous greed that emanates from man’s heart. Some ancient animals recall that humans used to taste a lot better than they do now. In the past, it is said their meat was sweeter and almost palatable. But all that changed with the dawn of the 20th century. Man consumed vast quantities of salt, sugar, toxins, drugs, alcohol and tobacco. Then they added in fatty processed foods and vast quantities of microplastics and pollutants. All this led to human meat being the worst tasting of any meat in the natural world.
Cowspiracy 2 to Feature Cow Eating Human Burgers
But Colin the Cow has vowed to go where no animal has gone before. He will consume a human burger for breakfast, lunch and dinner for 30 days. Nothing will avert him from his path. We caught up with Colin who had this to say “I am honoured to be chosen really. I thought Cowspiracy was great. But it painted us Cows as victims. We believe that our destiny is in our own hooves. It’s not all about opposable thumbs you know. We know the only solution to the human problem is to turn them into sh*t. I’m going to do my bit for Cows all over the world and turn as many of those vicious great apes into giant steaming cowpats.”
Well there you have it, Cowspiracy 2 will feature a cow eating human burgers for 30 days straight.
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