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Science Museum Admits It’s Into BDSM And Vows to Come Out of Its Shell

News from the Natural World: Science Museum admits it's into BDSM and vows to come out of its shell.

News from the Natural World: Science Museum admits it’s into BDSM and vows reveal the real reason why.

The Science Museum in London is a favourite of humans from all over the world. It’s full of the greatest inventions of mankind. Big engines, technological advancements and rockets. I didn’t see much about atomic bombs and mass industrial farming in there but maybe that was in a different room. Anyway, they recently launched a new exhibition called ‘Our Future Planet’ which explores many natural and technological plans for removing CO2 from the atmosphere. However, these include designs by arch planet destroyer Shell. In addition, the London Science Museum agreed not to publicly criticize Shell as part of a sponsorship deal for the show.

Science Museum Admits
Science Museum Admits it Loves a Good Gag

Furthermore, the museum said it would not “make any statement or issue any publicity or otherwise be involved in any conduct or matter that may reasonably be foreseen as discrediting or damaging the goodwill or reputation of the Sponsor.”

Science Museum Admits It’s Into BDSM

Hang on a minute! Shell, one of the most destructive companies on the planet that for decades destroyed the natural world for profit has suddenly decided it was going to help all along? Codswash! Oil and gas industry support for British cultural institutions has been subject to a long-running campaign by human environmentalists. Many accused the Science Museum of allowing Shell to “greenwash” its public image.

A spokesperson for Shell said: “We fully respect the museum’s independence. That’s why its exhibition on carbon capture matters and why we supported it. Debate and discussion — among anyone who sees it — are essential.”

Vows to Come Out of Its Shell

Doesn’t forcing the Science Museum to sign a gagging order suppress honest debate and discussion? We here in the animal journalistic world are used to this rampant human hypocrisy but this was getting out of hand. So we decided to ask the Museum of few questions of our own;

“Hey Science Museum! What the hell woman, why would you let Shell sponsor an exhibition on climate change?”

“To be honest, there is something I need to admit. It’s been eating away at me for some time. Now I’m not the only museum that has this problem. Just look at the British Museum, they let BP sponsor an exhibition on the Arctic… irony! Most cultural institutions in the UK have this issue. The truth is, I’m one kinky motherf*cking building. Not in an architectural sense sir. No. I mean in the purely sexual sense. I am heavily into BDSM and Sado-Masochism. You, know self-inflicted pain and all that. I LOVE IT. So when Shell popped a sponsorship package in front of me I just couldn’t say no. Then when they mentioned the gagging order it sealed the deal!

So there you have it, the reason the Science Museum let Shell sponsor an exhibition on climate change is because it’s into BDSM.

TAKE ACTION – NOW

Science Museum Admits
Gag us now!

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