News from the Natural World: Animal Kingdom asks when will another human be blasted into space?
Human billionaires have begun launching themselves into space for fun. It started with Branson, Bezos and next Musk. They paid extortionate amounts of money, created colossal carbon footprints and pretended to call themselves astronauts. They did this all during a global pandemic and climate catastrophe that was killing the most vulnerable humans on planet earth at alarming rates. The human race watching billionaires have fun during this pandemic after lobbying for a 500m bailout and evading tax was declared the most distasteful act ever in human history. That’s right, Richard Branson lobbied for a bailout and fired staff whilst receiving tax breaks for playing around in space. This has caused fractions in the human world but the opposite in the animal world. But why?
Animal Kingdom Asks When Will We Blast All Humans into Space?
The blasting of billionaires into space has united the animal kingdom. It has united them in a way never seen before. All over the globe mammals, birds, reptiles, amphibians, insects and plants are in unanimous agreement. We managed to speak to Wallace the Weevil to find out why;
“Just brilliant isn’t it, absolutely ruddy brilliant. We animals have long known that the great evil of mankind is billionaires. They are the living manifestation of greed, power and corruption. No one gets that rich without being corrupt. Other humans just don’t realise how much money they have. It’s pointless. People argue they create jobs. Bollocks. They create monopolies and these monopolies force millions of smaller independent businesses into bankruptcy. So instead of fair competition and thousands of independent businesses you just get one 1 mega-corporation which treats its workers like sh*t.”
“Yes, Amazon might create jobs. But who wants a job where you have to piss in a bottle and aren’t even allowed to go to the toilet? Not to mention that they are destroying the planet. It’s just depressing. 100 human billionaires have more wealth than the bottom 30% of humans. It’s disgusting. When we saw that a few of them were being blasted into space we were ecstatic. Finally, the earth had managed to get rid of this parasitic scum. I speak for the entire animal kingdom when I say. When can you send all the billionaires into space?”
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