Entertainment

Woman Banned From Zoo For Unhealthy Relationship With Chimp Says It Was Only a Small Matter of DNA

News from the Natural World: Woman banned from zoo said it was only a tiny matter and there was a serious misunderstanding.
News from the Natural World: Woman banned from zoo said it was only a tiny matter and there was a serious misunderstanding. An amorous ape-loving human woman has been barred from visiting a male chimpanzee at a zoo in Antwerp, Belgium. Human officials stated that their relationship was extremely unhealthy for the poor animal’s socialization with other chimpanzees. But the woman hit back and said “I love that animal and he loves me,” Adie Timmermans. She went on to say that she was her simian soulmate. The lonely woman had apparently been seeing the male chimp, named Chita, every week for over four years in what she declared as a real “relationship.”
Woman Banned From Zoo
Woman Banned From Zoo
The woman went on to say that during their visits, the two bar-crossed lovers would blow kisses and wave to each other through the glass of the primate’s enclosure. Although thankfully for all involved they didn’t engage in any interspecies whoopie. Nonetheless, Timmermans believed that their attraction is mutual. When questioned about the controversial relationship she said;

Woman Banned From Zoo For Unhealthy Relationship With Chimp

“Look here, human and chimp DNA is so similar because our two species are so closely related. Humans and chimps descended from a single ancestor species that lived six or seven million years ago. As humans and chimps gradually evolved from this common ancestor, their DNA, passed from generation to generation, changed too. In fact, many of these DNA changes led to differences between human and chimp appearance and behaviour. But when you really look at it, human and chimp DNA is nearly identical when you compare the bands on chromosomes. I’m no different to someone with a fetish for hairy backs really. Just ask Chita, I’m sure he will agree.” We always want our reporting to be impartial and wanted to find out if this romance was really a two-way street. Was it really true love between the pair, what about all though blown kisses? We asked Chita; “Not this again, all the other chimps keep making a mockery of me. All I am going to say is that there is only one of us locked in a cage. She could quite literally go anywhere else and do anything else. I am stuck here, I have no choice! Us Chimps hate it when you humans gawp at us through the bars or bare your teeth and stare. Eye contact and teeth barring is extremely offensive in chimp society don’t you know!”

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: