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Earthshot Prize Handed Out By Divinely Appointed Homo-Sapien Goes to Only Species Guilty for Earths Destruction

News from the Natural World: Earthshot Prize is causing confusion in the animal kingdom after the award goes to the wrong species.
News from the Natural World: Earthshot Prize is causing confusion in the animal kingdom after the award goes to the wrong species. The Earthshot Prize is the ‘most ambitious and prestigious of its kind’. In the words of humans, it is ‘designed to incentivise change and help to repair our planet over the next ten years.’ Whilst humans are fooled by statements like this the animal kingdom is a bit more astute. The latest greenwashing campaign from the pinnacle of human privilege is quite clearly in it for itself. The Earthshot Prize could more accurately be described in a different way. It is ‘designed to incentivise book purchases and help to repair the royal families image over the next ten years.’ But alas humans are alarmingly gullible and have fallen for this latest publicity stunt. If the royal family really cared about the environment then maybe they’d devolve their institution of inequality and privilege in an attempt to undo the colonial repression perpetuated by their entire family for generations.
Earthshot Prize
Earthshot Prize

Earthshot Prize Handed Out By Divinely Appointed Homo-Sapien

But, Prince William insisted that the prize had nothing to do with that. It definitely wasn’t about repairing their image in the wake of racism towards his brother and a rather fiddly Uncle. He said they had taken inspiration from President John F. Kennedy’s Moonshot Prize. Which united millions of people around an organising goal to put the man on the moon. In addition, it catalysed the development of new technology in the 1960s. The Earthshot Prize is centred around five ‘Earthshots. These are simple but ambitious goals for our planet. Which, if achieved by 2030, will improve life for us all, for generations to come. But there was one problem, all the Earthshot Prize nominees were also humans.

Goes to Only Species Guilty for Earths Destruction

The animals thought this was really a bit bloody rich and we interviewed one particularly disgruntled Weevil; “It’s a bit bloody rich, isn’t it really. Firstly, just look who’s handing out the prize. The Royal Family, how bloody arrogant, there’s nothing royal about humans. Just where on earth did they get all their wealth from? They stole it from the natural world that’s where! Second of all, the whole bloody list is full of humans. Don’t you think that the fact that you have divinely appointed humans in a democracy is part of the problem? Religion places humans above nature. Why are you worshipping inbred elitists rather than the natural world? Are they having a laugh, an environmental prize for humans is like making a war criminal peace envoy to the middle east…” “Er, actually humans did do that, they made Tony Blair peace envoy to the Middle East despite the fact he was one of the greatest war criminals of the last 50 years.”

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