News from the Natural World: Secret documents show that those meteor loving terror lizards were up to no good all along.
The Platypus has managed to obtain leaked top-secret documents from the remnants of Jurassic Park. The previously hidden documents show something so shocking that reptiles all over the planet have hung their lidless eyes in shame. The Crocodiles are feeling so guilty they’ve all disappeared and the Chameleons have turned invisible. In every corner of the planet, Reptiles have been shocked by the devastating news. The leaked documents empirically show, without doubt, that the Dinosaurs themselves spent billions of dollars subsidising giant meteors.
Secret Documents Show That Dinosaurs Spent Billions of Dollars
The documents show that the meteor industry 66 million years ago benefited from subsidies of $11 million every minute. The Environmental and Energy Study Institute reported that direct subsidies to the meteor industry totalled $20 billion per year. With 80% going towards identifying the biggest possible meteor that Dinosaur telescopes could find. Other incentives included building giant magnets to lure potential meteors. In addition to lobbying to stop other dinosaurs from becoming aware of the investment in the meteor industry. But why were the dinosaurs investing in the meteor industry?
It turns out that a small group of male albino T-Rex’s had been in league with the Meteor industry all along. It was shown that the meteor subsidies reduced the operating expenses of a cult business the Trex’s were running. The Trex’s were running an end of the world cult and they could pass on the real costs to dinosaur consumers. It was a brilliant foolproof plan and the Trex’s grew richer and richer as they continued to subsidize the meteor industry.