News from the Natural World: (Genesis 2:15) Adam admits he might have gone a bit off-piste in the old Garden of Eden. We find out more…
“The LORD God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it.”

As the human’s favourite fairy tale says, God placed Adam into the paradise of the garden of Eden with a job to do. God had created a world that included work needing to be done. He created Adam with a mission to do that work and look after the garden. Logically, God didn’t need to structure the world in this way. He could have created a world that was fully self-sustaining. He could have made human beings simply live in luxury and enjoy all of God’s creation without ever having to contribute anything. Why didn’t he, you ask? I mean just look what humans have done with the place. The 6th Extinction, the collapse of biodiversity, climate change, nuclear wars and holocausts. Just what the hell was God thinking!?
(Genesis 2:15) Adam Admits He Might Have Neglected his Work
God had this to say;
“Look, the first man’s work, Adam, was relatively simple and straightforward. All he had to do was to maintain the garden of Eden. A little bit of pruning here, a spot of hedge trimming there. I wasn’t asking for much. But then I recognized that it was not good for Adam to be alone. He was just wanking all day. Honestly, he’d set out to tend to a damaged tree and I’d find him 30 mins later just masturbating. It was relentless, he was a teenager who’d discovered their first copy of FHM. So I made a helper for him out of my own rib. This woman, Eve, was to become Adam’s companion and wife. The two were to exist in pure innocence, naked yet unashamed.”