Entertainment

Monstrous Gorilla Furious That King Kong Roles Keep Going to CGI Fakers

News from the Natural World: Monstrous gorilla is absolutely furious at constantly losing out on acting jobs!
News from the Natural World: Monstrous gorilla is absolutely furious at constantly losing out on acting jobs! Monstrous Gorilla wasn’t your average Mountain Gorilla. Most Mountain Gorillas reach heights between 1.25-1.8 metres, weigh between 100–270 kg and have arm spans up to 2.6 metres. Not Monstrous Gorilla, you don’t earn a name like that for no reason. He was much bigger than your average tree thumper. He was 2 metres tall, weighed 300kg and had an arm span of 2.9 metres. A ruddy whopper by all measurements. But Monstrous Gorilla had a problem, one that size alone couldn’t help with. His species was critically endangered, only around 1,000 individuals remained in the wild. This made him and his species one of the planet’s most endangered animals.
Monstrous Gorilla
Monstrous Gorilla’s Idol
But Monstrous Gorilla had a plan, he would use his size to his advantage. He would use his hulking frame and colossal muscles to save all the Mountain Gorillas. Monstrous had managed to learn about human society by seeking into human camps and villages watching their televisions and listening to their radios. He learned that there was only one thing that could save his kind. Money. After he learned this simple fact he saw a film that would change his life forever. He saw an original version of King Kong. He was everything he had dreamed of. A hulking massive Gorilla smashing humans to pieces. In addition, the massive gorilla was clearly earning a pretty penny since it was a Hollywood star. Finally, Monstrous Gorilla prayers had been answered.

Monstrous Gorilla Furious

He immediately set off applying for every single King Kong movie he could find. All the remakes, rehashes, sequels, prequels and everything in between. Nothing, no response. Not even a single reply. He even tried to get the main role in Mighty Joe Young but even that didn’t work. What was he doing wrong? After some detective work, he found out that the roles were going to something called CGI Gorillas or Animatronic Gorillas. Monstrous was livid, he was a real Gorilla all these other actors were fakers, they were imposters. They were just pretending, they were ‘acting’. Monstrous Gorilla decided it was time to admit defeat, he had heard rumours that Hollywood wasn’t famous for its authenticity and resolved to accept that King Kong roles would forever go to imposters and charlatans!

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