Politics

Pigeons Ask If They’re Rewriting History By Shitting on Statues

News from the Natural World: Pigeons ask the big question on everyone's beaks in the avian world.

News from the Natural World: Pigeons ask the big question on everyone’s beaks in the avian world.

Pigeons have long sought the perfect block of stone for their morning ablutions. They soar over the cities of the world, seeking, searching and waiting. The highlight of their day is that crisp moment when they can dribble out a slopping white poop and dribble it all over a human statue. In addition to providing an excellent perch, the Pigeons also truly enjoy the activity. But why?

Pigeons love this activity but it is the perfect way to get back at the human race. For too long have humans plundered and ravaged the animal kingdom. Taking this, drilling that, extincting over there. All birds have suffered under the grubby opposable thumbs of the homo sapiens and if the Pigeons can do something to reclaim some semblance of respect then they will. They do so but indiscriminately shitting on human statues wherever they can find them. But this act has recently come under fire from critics in the human world.

Pigeons
Take that statue

Rewriting History By Shitting on Statues

Some humans are furious that the Pigeons are shitting on the statues. They say that in doing so they are trying to rewrite history and that is impossible. We decided to interview a human called Mr Gammon and one of the Pigeons who’d done the shitting;

Mr Gammon – “Look, you bloody pigeons are trying to destroy history. You can’t change it, it’s happened just move on and shit somewhere else.”

Pigeon – “What if by shitting on these statues, we’re actually making history?”

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