News from the Natural World: How to be a better human? We animals help humans out with some tricky tips on how to be a better animal.
Humans have long been voted the world’s worst species. It’s something that they are naturally brilliant at. They have a proclivity for violence, wanton destruction and brain that has led to delusions of grandeur and inflated self-importance. Some humans actually believe they are outside of nature because they have repurposed minerals and metal into objects. Unbelievable, but anyway, many humans want to buck the trend and change. They want to learn and adapt, to evolve. So we animals thought we’d do them a favour and give them some tips on how to be a better human.
Tip 1: Castrate Yourself Immediately
If you’re a male human the first thing you can do to become a better human is to lop off those sorry sacks of semen you call testicles. Honestly get them right off and do the rest of the animal kingdom a favour. When you stop building arsenals of nuclear weapons you can have them back.