If you would like to get in touch with The Platypus for whatever reason please contact us at – duckbill@theplatypusnews.com
We know you really want to reach out and tell us that you’re fed up of being a human. In addition to being greedy and destructive, you’re also a hypocrite. But don’t worry, buying that one bamboo toothbrush and telling your friends on Instagram can’t save you. Only humour can save us from ourselves. Seriously, it’s really our only chance, we’re buggered – here
If you’ve got this far then you weren’t happy with the email to contact us so are probably looking for a phone number. Well, we’ve got one thing to say to you. Stop being impatient you bloody typical human. Just wait for us to contact you back. We’re busy you know. Do you have any idea how difficult it is trying to be a Platypus and also run a satirical newsroom!? Bloody humans! This is so like you – here
Anyway, we’d REALLY love to hear from you. What the world really needs is ANOTHER humans opinion. You know I was out the other day down at the stream. All the other animals were saying “Do you know who we haven’t heard from in a while… humans. We never hear their opinions. They must be really marginalised out all of the species.” No, but seriously we would love to hear your opinion. There’s nothing better than a bunch of humans wrongly confusing opinion with a fact. “Oh that article wasn’t funny” or “That article was offensive”. Well, do you know what is REALLY offensive? Humans.